Diamonds In My Damn Chain…

“From the Polo Fleece, to The Jesus Piece…”

-Kanye West

You may remember that Kanyeezy line on the song entitled “Selfish” by Slum Village and if you don’t, go listen to the song. The beat is crazy, video is funny, and overall it’s just a good song.

Remember the so called “Jesus Piece”? If you don’t, read tis small excerpt I found online to jog the memory:

“An over-sized platinum, gold or silver pendant sometimes encrusted with diamonds and other gems made in the likeness of Jesus. These pendants are worn on a heavy rope style of necklace.

The Jesus piece, and other styles of large pendants worn with rope style jewelry have been a staple of hip hop youth culture for nearly thirty years. Presently, hip hop artists and fans alike use the Jesus piece as a symbol of being “hood” or keepin’ it real and being extravagantly wealthy at the same time. The Jesus piece testifies to the fact “you can take the man out of the ghetto, but you can’t take the ghetto out of the man.”

Now you know what happens when a “trend” is started; Someone has to push the envelope and make this current trend “Bigger and Better” for the future! Well I know of one company who took this approach and failed in the end…Ford Motor Co. So what that they need crazy amount of dollars from the government, I’m talking about them going bonkers because the Explorer and Expedition where once the top selling SUV’s. And by going bonkers, I really mean developing the Ford Excursion. Ford got greedy, wanted the Super Soccer Mom/I Can Fit my Whole Boy Scout Troop mobile and ended up discontinuing the car a couple years later. Well, I think the same can be said about the Jesus Piece soon as I came across this last Saturday…

Another Style…

Ah, the Last Supper. How refreshing is it to know 1 out of every 5 black people have this picture hanging around their house so hey, what better artwork to put around a nigga’s neck than the great da Vinci. How about we just stop right there. I can’t believe people really did this! I mean I’m not a big fan of chains since many of them are just down right gaudy, but c’mon! I mean it’s one thing to have “White Jesus’s” face hanging off your herringbone (which I find tacky at best), but to have the scene where Jesus tells his 12 disciples that one of them will betray him? Get with the program people. This does NOT look hot, cool, or any facsimile thereof. Just seeing that on someone would make me want to snatch it and then beat him over the head with it. Seriously!

You may ask “But Drew, if we cant rock the Jesus Piece or the Jesus Price Strikes Back, what should we do?” Well, I don’t know, how about we just get ridiculous medallions that would be so creative and ridiculous that it would be hard for people to believe that it was real!!! For example, let’s look at everyone’s favorite County Bama, Plies…

Look at this guy! He’s got this replica Bible looking piece, a Florida license plate that says “Goon” and the worst of them all, the “Goon in the Ski Mask” piece. Someone please shoot this kid. First of all, STOP CALLING YOURSELF A GOON! GOONS DON’T GO TO COLLEGE AND GOON’S DON’T MAKE IT OUT THE HOOD! Second, you have got to be the worst rapper ever and that tough guy act you put on has got to go. I bet I could knock you out. Shoot, I put money on that! Why waste all that money on those chains when you are pushing a BMW 745i, BASE MODEL!

Dude, if I had all that money, I’d be whipping one of these…The BMW B7 Alpina! Read more about the B7 here.

All in all, gaudy chains are a personal preference. You either like it or you don’t. There is no gray area. My suggestion is that we just kill all of it but I mean it is a requirement for a record deal so you know…Whatever. But seriously, can we please stop it with the Jesus Piece’s; you know, the head shots and last supper. If we don’t, I’m sure Jacob the Jeweler or IF&Co. will go ahead and create the Nativity Scene or better yet, the Garden of Eden. Oh Boy, I can’t wait…..